graffiopenna (graffiopenna) wrote in edrecovery_city,

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Alright, so here's my question:

First off, I should say that I am a (recovering) bulimic. I was diagnosed with bulimia or E.D. unspecified (several professionals say several different things) after around 2 years of cycling with binges and purging through strenuous exercise while trying (and succeeding, somehow) to loose weight.

Alright, so now that you know some of my eating background, this summer I took a summer student exchange trip down to Costa Rica. While I was down there, my mentality around food transformed so that I was actually able to stop eating when not hungry, eat at practical times in the day, and not beat myself up with exercise as a means of self-punishment. For once, it seemed the focus was off of food and I felt good about myself as a person. While I was down there, I managed to loose the excess amount of weight I was struggling with, and actually went under my goal weight. So when I came up here, I was told to maintain. However, maintaining requires that I eat more than I've been used to, causing the familiar feeling in my stomach that I had after I would binge. For a while, I kept up my habits like I did down in Costa Rica. But I think my reluctance and fear to switch from counting calories is getting to me, and once again I may be falling into obsession. In the past few days, I suppose I've had what you can call several binges. The way I define a binge is eating beyond the point of fullness...often times I felt rather stuffed. It's been mostly carbohydrate-filled things, like breads, muffins, peanut butter, chocolate, etc. I haven't purged, and have managed to be self-forgiving, but I find myself falling back into eating more carbohydrates after the binges, and spawning a trigger for another one.

Now, I'm not looking for fasting suggestions, but I was wondering if anyone had any tips about foods to eat to get myself off of this carb-frenzy? I'm think I'm literally experience sugar hangover, which spawns me to eat more carbs. Any ideas of what I could eat to level off my the mania my blood sugar must be experiencing?A

Also, I was wondering if anybody had any techniques for letting go of this intense fear of not counting calories? I've really experienced an improvement in my self-morale, and I don't want to loose my grasp on it. I don't want to loose recovery when it seems so close to my reach.

Thank you so much. ♥
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