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Sunday, November 16th, 2008
5:58 am - New.

 Hi everyone!
I had a livejournal years ago but am happy to be back, determined to find support on my path to recovery, and help others struggling with the same diseases/addictions/traumas. I will post tonight on my page a summary of my first step so those of you who want to can get to know me a little better. Thank you all for being here and looking forward to sharing my experiences, struggles, strengths, and hopes.

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Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
8:09 pm

I’m writing this part as a warning to others and part enquiring to see if anyone else has had these problems and could tell me what to expect at hospital.

I am a recovering anorexic and abused laxatives for a long time.
I’ve been going weeks without passing anything and I have been passing a white mucus and blood (on its own and within my stool).
I saw a specialist at the hospital who has given me some bulk up drink to help get more water into my stool and has referred me to London Royal Hospital.
The tests that they offer there (which I found on their website) are:
• Small bowel endoscopy and capsule enteroscopy.
• Endoscopic ultrasound.
• Gallstone removal, stenting for benign and malignant disease and biliary manometry.
• Colonoscopy, polypectomy and colonic stenting.
• Treatment of GI malignancy. 

Has anyone been tested in any of these ways or know what I am to expect?
I have had an endoscopy before but nothing else for over 2 years and I’m worried what they could find. 
Any replies would be greatly appreciated thanks 
Emma x

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Monday, March 31st, 2008
12:26 pm - Eating disorder bloggers wanted for survey
rachelr59 I am a current graduate student researching the social history of food-related disorders, inspired, in large part, from my own struggles with anorexia and bulimia.  I'm conducting an anonymous survey of bloggers who blog about eating disorders or eating disorder recovery in partnership with a clinical psychologist for joint research and publication purposes.

I'm hoping our survey generates lots of responses so that our findings are well-rounded, inclusive and convincing.  The only two requirements are that you must have an active blog and that it must address, at least in part, your experiences with an eating disorder.  I'm hoping for responses from people of all ages and genders who are in all stages of recovery and who suffer from a diversity of eating disorders, from anorexia to binge eating disorder to ed-nos to orthorexia. 

If the scope of the study pertains to your own experiences, I invite you to participate by taking it.  More information and a survey link can be found here or http://the-f-word.org/blog/index.php/2008/03/23/eating-disordered-bloggers-wanted-for-survey/

Thank you!

Rachel Richardson

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Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
12:00 pm

Alright, so here's my question:

Caution: I don't know if this will be triggering or notCollapse )

current mood: aggravated

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Sunday, August 20th, 2006
12:13 am

I had a session iwth my therapist yesturday. We got on the subject of my eating disorder. Shw started asking me if I felt that I felt that my eating disorder was away, for me to have control. Yes, in away it is about control for me. She also asked if I felt having a eating disorder was away for me to recieve attention. No, because I don't want the attention, I just want to have control over something once in my life. With all of the bad things that have happened, that is the least that I could ask for.

My therapist also asked what I thought about having a eating disorder. I told her, that I don't care. She then assured me that, that was ok for me to say because at least I was being honest. She asked if I ever felt that I did not want to be here, and without thinking about I told her yes. She then asked if there were any other things that she should know about, I told her no, but the more I think about the cocnverstation, I wonder if I shhould e-mail her and tell her about the bulimia? I guess my concern is, how is she going to think of me when she finds out that I did not tell her my "secret" when she asked me. What do I do? I have to see her on Thursday at 2pm, should I wait until then to talk with her? Or e-mail her to give her heads up?


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Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
6:53 pm
lesik_baby Sorry, but the previous link about Britney was wrong. Here is correct one...
Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
11:24 pm

Is anyone in recovery who is a christian? Some experiences and tips on a spiritual recovery would be nice. thanks

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Sunday, February 26th, 2006
3:17 pm

Hi I've just joined this community. I am looking for pictures of famous ladies with curves.
I am recovering from an eating disorder and I am using famous 'normal' women to help me gain weight so that I can put the pics on my fridge and see that you can be beautiful and 'normal' too.
I've bought a couple of magnets with Marilyn Monroe and betty page if anyone has any good pictures or any other good famous women pls reply to this and I can print off the best ones and pop them on my fridge to help me to get to my goal of a BMI of 21 :)
thanks x

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Friday, February 10th, 2006
10:13 pm

Hey everyone,

If anyone is interested in an eating disorder discussion / awareness / activism group based in New York City, email me at kolormehappygirl@aol.com


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Saturday, January 14th, 2006
2:19 pm

Hi everyone,

I'm trying to start an eating disorders discussion group that focuses on societal impact - not a support group, but a discussion / awareness group. I have no qualifications for that, emotionally or educationally.

This is a discussion group for people who want to talk about eating disorders and body image and society...to speak out, speak to one another, lessen the shame as a means to feeling better about ourselves and having our voices heard by one another, in the very least. Its cathartic and revolutionary. The longer we feel ashamed, the longer we will be silent, the less we will speak to one another, and the less we will make change.

I'm just very frustrated that in spite of the commonality of eating disorders, they are so rarely talked about. I'm fed up. I want to talk about it personal experiences, social experiences, women's body image and roles throughout history...I want to try to collectively understand that eating disorders are basically handed to us on silver platters by our surroundings as a favorable solution to our "inability to control ourselves," that we are all susceptible, that it has nothing to do with intelligence, that you don't necessarily have to be skinny to have an eating disorder.

I want to explore the continuum of eating disorders - bulimia and binge eating on one end and anorexia on the other, the bulimic / binge eater wishes she could be anorexic, the anorexic has succeeded and continues to succeed but is never good enough, while the bulimic feels trapped in her cycle and the binge eater feels hopeless and trapped as well. Bulimia/binge eating and anorexia are charactures of society. This is how society is set up: "out of control" people are supposed to envy "in control" people. What defines "in" and "out" of "control"? How and why are men, in light of women's political and economic advances, trying to make women smaller?

I want to hear other's opinions...share personal feelings about their own disorders.

I want to talk about how unconscious it is...how its not always "I wanna look like this actress, I wanna look like a model tee-hee" because that kind of thinking really belittles eating disordered individuals. Makes eating disorders out to be immature and stupid and shallow. I want to talk about how society's images are brainwashing, about Naomi Wolf and other eating disorder and feminist authors. I also have a few books on the biology of eating disorders and i'd be up to incorporating that aspects into the societal factor. I'm starting to really believe that the society is the pre-cursor for eating disorders in indviduals who are already vulnerable because of family and biology - but that society is primary. I want to hear other opinons, listen and talk and be empathic toward one another.

I want to discuss alternative, imaginary societies: what if obese people were considered the ideal? and people who were thin said to one another, despondent, "I'll never be that beautiful. I just want to be fat. That's all I want. Once I'm fat everything will be perfect." and people who were bigger than the "obesity standard" said, "I just can't stop gaining. I know I need to stop, but I'm not fat enough YET, once I weight XXX pounds I'll be fat enough, I swear."

that's the jist!

let me know if you're interested! thanks.

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Friday, January 13th, 2006
7:44 pm

I’m just venting here.

I got a dentist appointment for Monday and I am going to see if I need my wisdom teeth taken out (I have two coming through and they are above the gum a little but I don’t know if they need to come out or not).

I’m so worried if I have to have them taken out I’m fretting over it already.

If I have to have them out I won’t be able to eat for days so I’ll slip back into my ED I just know it. I’ll get used to feeling empty and not hungry and I’ll feel happy.

And if that isn’t bad enough I had an addiction to painkillers 3 years ago so I don’t know how I will cope with medicating myself with strong painkillers.

Anyone had any sort of dealings with dentists like this?

What can I do? Can I ask to go as an in patient and stay in hospital so they can medicate me and put me on an IV to make sure I’m staying nourished?

I’m just upset I’ve gained just over a stone in a year and now this… I have tried so hard if I need my teeth extracted I just know I will lose the weight.

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Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
10:20 am - New.

Hi everyone, I'm Jack (Jacqueline), 21, in California. Have been attempting recovery for the past 2 months. Only this time, I will stay with it. I will get control back, and I'll be damn proud. :) I'll get over the 11 years of anorexia, because I am a strong woman, and I am setting my mind to it. Joined because I had found some myspace groups, and thought I might join some lj groups too for the support. Take care, and I hope everyone is doing well.

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Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
1:09 pm

I just want to introduce myself as one recovered.
If anyone wants support or is interested, feel free to stop by my lj, I'd be happy to add you if you'd like.
Also, I'll keep this community added incase anyone posts in it (although I see it's been a while ;)

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Friday, November 12th, 2004
9:44 am - amenorrhea

Hi everyone,

Not sure if I'm trying to recover for good yet but I have a question for you guys:

I haven't had my period for almost 3 months and I want it back. I've been trying to eat normally but now my weight has shot up ten pounds...yet still no menstruation. It's been depressing me that I haven't seen results...especially because I'm used to seeing results from not eating...and I'm tempted just to give up on getting it back and go back to my ED.

Have any of you lost their period and gotten it back? How long did it take? I've heard you can take supplements and apparently licorice helps because it controls the estrogen levels in your body or something...anyone heard of this?

Thanks for any help!

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Thursday, November 4th, 2004
5:45 am - X-posted a bit...sorry
theatre_g Hey everyone. I’m a student writing a short research paper regarding body image for my psychology of women class.
If anyone would like to contribute a short story to me of any sort about this issue, comment on this or e-mail me at s_waugh@hotmail.com


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Monday, May 10th, 2004
11:27 pm
melancholyhell Hi every one, my name is Sandra and I have struggled with bulimia/restricting since I was about 9, I'm 18 now. I have a few good days and then I am pulled back into the behaviors. I feel really hopeless right now and I need all the support that I can get.

current mood: drained

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Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
12:55 pm - New!!

Hey!! I'm new, my name is amanda. I struggle with many of the same things as the other members of this community, and I'd also really like to reach out and help others dealing with these issues, I really hope i can help others hear, and I hope that this can be a place for me to come to when I need more support. Thanks!!...if you need even more support here is my recovery community:


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Saturday, February 21st, 2004
2:50 pm
prncssterrible Hi, I am Nina and I just joined. This community doesn't seem to be very alive, however I think it's grand.

For over a year, I've been trying to recover from Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating/Closet Eating as well as all the emotional baggage and food rituals that come along with these disorder; but I have my relapses. I've stayed strong for the past two months, but have found myself slowly relapsing, seeking comfort in these disorders. I am terrible frightened about relapsing again... and my boyfriend [[who is a newly recovered ED.. I am so proud of him]] has advised me to seek help though the outpatient program that helped him. This Monday, I plan on discussing with my psychologist/psychiatrist more about me going to this or any other outpatient program. I really just want to get rid of this fucking disorder that has consumed my mind and life.

Stay strong. <3

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Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
11:20 pm - my names kim...

i think ive had an ed for 5 years now. i know that im sick of it. but i dont know if i can ever recover. i know its hard and i can just see myself gaining alot and going back to that. i never want that. if its over its over. but i cant even start till im sure. right now im underwater, i know that soon ill run out of breath, but im still too scared of the sun.

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Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003
3:07 pm

I need good counter-thought methods!Collapse )

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